Go Without, Go Within
Happiness does not result from having more stuff, but from cultivating appreciation.
Whenever I’m preparing to move house, I find myself asking the same questions:
Why do I have so much stuff?
And, How did we, as a species, go from living outdoors to being cocooned in concrete boxes with cupboards, closets, attics, sheds and garages full of clutter?
Furthermore, why do we find it so difficult to live without these things?
In the modern age, our fascination with material objects is fuelled by advertising. Marketing gurus are the magicians of our time, with a special kind of power: the ability to cast spells and control human behaviour.
They know how to make us believe we couldn’t live without something we had previously never even heard of. This magic works by sowing ideas in our minds. And behind all of these ideas is the master spell, the concept on which all product advertising is founded:
“If you buy this, you will be happier.”
“Happier” might mean feeling sexier, more powerful, safer or more important – but the implication of marketing is always the same:
“If you buy this, you will be better off.”
Conditional logic
“If you buy this, you will be happier” is an example of a conditional statement, where the outcome is conditional on the behaviour that precedes it. Conditional statements are used extensively in computer programming languages, to tell computers what to do.
But conditional statements are not unique to advertising and computer programming. We are introduced to them as children, when our parents and guardians use them to condition our behaviour.
If you’re good, Santa will bring you lots of presents.
If you’re well-behaved, you’ll get a treat.
If you don’t behave yourself, you’ll be in trouble.
If you don’t finish your dinner, you won’t get any pudding.
Conditional statements are designed to condition your behaviour in a specific way because someone else wants you to behave in that way. Even though the statement is presented as being solely for your benefit, it is actually serving someone else’s agenda.
And this is where marketing has been so influential because it convinces you on some level that the product really has been designed and created for your benefit – when in fact its primary purpose is to take money from you and give it to someone else.
The more, the merrier
The idea that buying one product will make you happier has another idea embedded within it: that the more you buy, the happier you will become.
It stands to reason: if buying one product will make you happier, buying two products will make you even happier. And if you keep on buying stuff, you’ll just get happier and happier.
But if having more material possessions did make us happier, hoarders would be the happiest people on the planet. And, most of us would be infinitely happier than when we were children.
Hmmm.
Admittedly, some material possessions can bring short-term pleasure, comfort, convenience or satisfaction. But this is not the same as true happiness. Also, our addiction to stuff brings many unwanted side-effects, which often outweigh their advantages.
So what can we do to break the hold that attachment to material objects has over our minds?
Choosing to let go
A few years ago, an idea came to me out of the blue:
Go Without, Go Within.
To intentionally give something up for a period of time and to use that time to reflect on how it feels and what it means.
What you give up and how long you go without is entirely up to you. For example, you could go without social media for one day, give up chocolate for a week or take a vow of silence for the weekend. Give up looking at your phone every five minutes. Stop watching the news. Go without breakfast altogether for one day or fast for a bit longer than usual and have breakfast later.
The choice is yours and this is a vital aspect of this practice: you do have a choice.
Our modern, consumption-rich, way of life puts the majority of material wealth in the hands of the few, while everyone else is left chasing impossible dreams of having more. This means that millions of people around the world have no choice but to go without things we routinely take for granted.
For the millions of people who do not have adequate supplies of food or fresh water, the words “must-haves” and “essentials” have completely different meanings.
An estimated 9 million people die every year from hunger and hunger-related diseases. That’s about 25,000 people every day. Or, somewhere in the region of 150 people in the time it takes to read this article.
Stay present with it
If you choose to go without something for a while – even if it’s just one meal for one day – you will derive most benefit from it if you can stay present to the experience. Yes, you could go without snacks for a day and keep yourself busy to keep your mind off it, but if you’re able to find the time, this works so much better if you can be present to the experience of renunciation.
Why? Because within this experience you have the potential to find the true meaning of happiness. It’s not “more, more, more”. It’s appreciation.
When you have something every day, it’s easy to take it for granted. But when you intentionally go without it for a while, you give yourself an opportunity to appreciate it like you never have before.
Like you, I have been caught up in the lure of marketing and bought so many products, I forgot I even had some of them. But if I didn’t even know I had something, how could I possibly appreciate it? And if I don’t appreciate it, of what value is it?
Perhaps more true than the idea that the more we buy, the happier we become, is the realisation that the more we acquire, the more we forget what we already have. And, the more we try to become someone, the more we forget who we are.
Go Without, Go Within is a spiritual practice for developing your powers of appreciation, compassion and non-attachment. It is a powerful exercise with the potential to work on more than one level. For example, you might learn to appreciate something you took for granted (such as nice food or drink) or you might find you appreciate not having something (such as not having your head cluttered with social media posts).
But it can also be a doorway into something more profound: remembering aspects of yourself you had completely forgotten about. Perhaps a talent you didn’t nurture, a dream you neglected to follow. Or a capacity for love you didn’t know was there.
If you do choose to Go Without, Go Within and manage to stay present for long enough afterwards to post a comment and share your experience, I would love to hear from you.
And, whatever you do, don’t “go without” sharing this idea with a friend.